Ugh a disgusting feeling rippled up my elbows when I typed the word “swagga.” I don’t think I’ve ever typed the word “swagga.” I’ve officially entered the category of humanoids who have ever typed the word “swagga.” Swagga swagga swagga.  Swagga dee doo da.  Yes, it’s still 2007.

By now you’ve probably heard the hoopla about Apple’s new product, the iPad.  And besides it sounding like a self-identifying tampon, it has other cool features that’ll make you wanna rest it in your nether regions.  Such as…IT’S FLAT! Oh poor Bostonians, no one will know what you’re talking about anymore (“I iPadded my iPod in iPad Yard”).

But what people have failed to notice is actually what has truly inspired me this evening…STEVE JOB SPITS GAME!!  How the hell did he get the whole world to buzz about a giant iPhone and/or a smaller iBook??  Because he made it sound like molé sauce on J.Lo’s toosh, that’s how.  Watching that video above made me really feel like my broke ass needed another robot in my life.  And maybe I do.  What do you think, Ms. Macbook?

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

that’s what i like to hear, baby.

[Read more →]